After....(Joash's Birth Story)

mmmmm......sleeping contentedly on a pillow on my knees right now, with his hand draped over his forehead.....Joash Sebastien, born Sat. June 9, at 2:o8 pm, 7lbs. 9oz. (exactly Selah's birth weight, only he is a little longer, and his head is a little bigger - sorry don't know those measurements off hand).

warning: some of the following is a little graphic,detailed, and l o n g!

Fri. June 10th was not overly eventful, went for some long walks to help get baby/labour going, w/in that had a nice visit with Tami, and her new baby (born breech, and NATURALLY!). Had a good night sleep (as good as one can have, when feeling 41+ weeks pregnant). I'd been haveing some good hard braxton hicks / pre-labour contractions at regular intervals for about 2 weeks - but to my dismay (after a while), I was unimpressed with the lack of pain - as i know it is the painful ones that bring baby out....so i was praying for pain!!! at least some painful contractions to evoke some action!

4am 1st painful contraction.

4:30am 2nd painful contraction....fell back to sleep

6:30am 3rd painful contraction - "crap, i thought it's 6:30 already - this isn't consistent"..fell back to sleep, got up around 7am.

no water breaking, no "show"

at 8am they started 5 min apart - "thank-you God, finally for some consistent, painful (sorry Dr. Grantly Dick-Read, for using that word, it's just a little more descriptive than "hard-working") contractions.

Called midwife, she was leaving that day for 10 days, apparently i missed her by 20 min...got a hold of the 2nd midwife. (In MB, there are always 2 at a birth, if your primary one is unavailable, the 2nd one acts a primary, and than a 3rd midwife stands in place of the 2nd).

By around 10am we'd arrived at the place we had planned to give birth. A couple in our church offered the use of their place (she'd had 4 of her's there, and another baby had also been home birthed there as well). With 8 children, they have a back yard set up QUITE Nicely for children - great for Selah. Their basement, they had declared out-of-bounds for the rest of the family for the day. There, there was a bathrm, shower, 6person hot tub, chiro bed, kitchenette, bdrm, and rec room (TV/DVD - great for Papa/Dad, after birth, while baby and i nap - "but napoleon dynamite? come on...") - Great Birthing centre!

After getting supplies and such settled, we hung out in the backyard (they live on the River, lots of fruit trees and such and it was a beautiful day). Selah played with Abigail (their youngest), and "sibling support person" - my mom. Sabrina arrived - one of the greatest Doulas on earth - she just came to Canada this past fall, so her midwife credits don't completely transfer yet. She came to the birth as my Doula. Around 11:30am, the backyard was full of activity, with kids and their friends jumping on trampolines, preparing to swim, etc...so Sabrina and I went for a good (slow paced) walk through the Scotia St. neighborhood (for non-winnipeggers, Scotia runs along our Red River, and is decorated with big, beautiful trees and old, old homes - so it is a nice walk. I had asked Sabrina earlier to tell me the story of how a German girl met a married a man from Africa, and now live in Canada - at the time, we didn't have time, so it was settled she'd tell me when i was in labour. So I heard a lovely story, on a lovely walk, with the occasional pause, and breathe thru the contraction. At one point, we stopped in front of a home where a middle age couple were working in their front yard..."Are you OK?" I heard the lady ask, i smile and say sheepishly - "yes, i'm fine, i'm just in labour." "Ohh, just helping things along?" she says nervously, "yup", i say.

Arrive back, it was around noon, and the contractions were definitely picking up...and what helped that even more - to my dismay (sorry to be graphic), was sitting on the toilet - the worst, worst contractions would come - i guess it is similar to a birth chair, in that it really opens up the pelvis - so if you are in labour, and you want to help things along, i recommend sitting on a toilet - i just wasn't prepared for the intensity at which they came! It was that, that plunged me into hard labour. Got into the hot tub, which was a little warm, but DEFINITELY helpful, not just in speeding things up, but in management of the contractions.

It was often said to me that 2nd births were faster and more intense....i always heard the faster part, but the "intense" part just went in one ear and out the other - THAT part stands out now very much - like every women in hard labour i was saying and feeling that i couldn't manage the contractions - that is why i love home births, b/c of what we've read and chosen, we would prefer to do it drug free & epidural free - I know that if it was available, i'd probably be crying out for it, in that vulnerable place that one is in, in hard labour. It is hard to believe that there are more painful things than labour - but there is (nerve pain, some ectopic pregnancies, emotional pain, long term pain) - but the wonderful thing about labour, and some of those MOST uncomfortable contractions is that they DO end! Who ever heard of a women in HARD labour for extended, extended periods of time?

I invited my good friend Robin, who i lived with for years before i was married, to watch the birth - she arrived. My mom brought over cold cuts, buns, a fruit and veggie platter, and other snacks for us all.

It saddens me that unless one works in a hospital, their first birth experience most likely will be when they themselves go into labour and give birth. Such is my case. My first (was home water birth), was my 1st experience. I was privileged to be a part of my nephew's birth. And in years gone by, labour and birth wasn't as much a mystery and horrendous thing as it can be today. In that most women would have witnessed, or helped out with their siblings birth, cousins etc...as i understand, all the women in the family would gather, aid, support the women in labour, and as she victoriously came thru, it wasn' t such a mystery to the younger generation. - when it came to their turn, they were probably a little more prepared than many of us (me) - "ok, this is the part where i scream, and it is ok, b/c i've seen all the other women in my family/community do it..."

So labouring in the hot tub, Sabrina kept cool cloths on my back and one for me to hold to my face, as i rocked thru the contractions, and concentrated on my "labour music" - Mary MacLeans new CD "Beyond" - Worship songs, which were good and soothing, and helpful to redirect my concentration off the intensity of the pain. Then the only relief was if i could push - but the midwife did not want me to, until the 2nd had arrived (Whhhaaaaaaaat?). "I can't do that...i will just do little, little pushes for some relief"....i reached in and said "i can feel something"...."is it hard like a forehead, or soft like a bag of water?" the midwife asked..."soft like a water balloon" i think by this time the 2nd midwife was there so now i could push all i wanted - the next push, the bag of waters broke in the water - felt very weird - as i didn't feel that w/ Selah's birth - just like as if i had a water balloon pop down there....and then i could feel the head.

between contractions i got out of the tub, and onto the "Little" chiropractor bed nearby, that had been covered in plastic, and sheets, and blue pads. Laid down on to my side. With Selah, I had pushed for over 3 hours, and when she came (i was vertical), i was not at all concerned about protecting my perineum as, i just needed to get this baby out (23hr labour total - not bad, since average first labours are 24hrs.), needless to say i had a 2nd degree tear in different directions. So this time the plan was to do it horizontal - which was a little hard to maneuver, and have a midwife help out w/ that part in the tub. Sabrina, above me, kept the cold bottle of water coming (i was soooo thirsty constantly thru out), and cool cloths, and held my hand - er, well i held her hand for those pushes. Rene, kept me from falling off that little bed, and supported my top leg, and of course we know where the midwife was. I pushed for 20min there, and he came. They laid him in front of my tummy (as that was as far as the cord could reach)...after that of course it's a blur....the placenta, checking me and baby...and blah blah blah. I did tear a little - but it is completely a non issue, compared to what i had gone thru the first time. This time i was sitting an hour after the birth, with my first it was a whole month or more before i could sit....car rides were Not fun.

Birth is the most strange and wonderful thing...i've always wondered why God put the Life department right next to the Waste department...Over all, i couldn't have asked for a better birth experience - yes i wish i could've yielded better to those hard contractions...but it was a beautiful day, had a good night sleep b/4, and on a Saturday early afternoon - no one had to miss work!

I forgot to mention, my 2 1/2 yr. old daughter, Selah was there for the whole thing....she was not scared or alarmed, as the rest of those there were calm and so was she. At some point, when i was in the tub, Sabrina had gone for more cold water, and for that contraction that she was away for, Selah climbed up and tried to imitate Sabrina in putting her hands on me (now like many of us, we don't really want to be touched during that time, but in retrospect - i thought that was pretty cool!) She survived and watched her little brother be born, then she went outside to play.

Now....that little velvety soft head of his, and his squeekie little cry...the way he abruptly falls a sleep and his adorable way of sleeping - it is all so worth it - i can see that having babies could be addictive!